Reap as you sow

Our society is on the verge of a change. A kind of narrowness in relationships is seen in the affluent families. A family having meal together has become a rare sight, except for the dining table of a restaurant. People, who are eager in keeping up-to-date information about the families of Amitabh Bachchan or Bill Gates, are found miles away from the matters of their own family. A father who has reached the summit of Himalaya fails to reach to the heart of his child.

The relationship between the parents and children seem like a matter of past amongst the growing number of old-age homes. Children turning away face from their parents in search of love and affection from somewhere else tell the story of failed families. Then, you also have a hoard of people trying to take undue advantage of the atmosphere of bitter relationships among your family members. That is why I feel it is necessary for the parents to understand the importance of being guardian and companion of their children and keeping warm relationship with them.

The parents who have sacrificed their night’s sleep for their children many a time put on stake their relationship with their children for an issue of mere five to ten minutes. The parents who can readily squander their entire wealth for their children often muddle their relationship over the account of hardly a hundred bucks. Parents, who walk miles for their children, avoid taking a couple of steps with them and rather become desperate to move away from them. The parents who sacrifice their day’s meal for children create squabbles over a toffee or ice-cream. The parents, who feel no fatigue in praising their children, boil their blood for the matter of few marks in exams.

We see children avert the presence of their parents and resort to their friends to share their feelings, children who alter their own mark-sheets, children who veil the complaints the school made against them, children who await freedom in order to express their likes and dislikes, and children who rather prefer to seclude than to greet their father on his homecoming. I feel the parents of these children should change their approach and must find-out the reasons for how are they responsible for such situations?

If parents find no hesitation in lying, the children too will learn to speak lie.

Beating the child makes him shameless. To make him to do work by temptation makes him greedy. Preventing him to do work on his own makes him timid.Pampering makes the child stubborn. Giving him too much freedom makes him willful. Threatening him for curbing his bad habits makes him rigid.

His self-confidence diminishes when he is not appreciated for his good deeds. A few encouraging words for his good work makes his strength bloom like anything. He does his work happily when a peaceful atmosphere is kept in the house.

If parents take interest in philanthropic activities, the child too develops inclination for charity. When child is given respect during conversation, he cultivates self- respect. If a child is taught the language of love, he learns to talk gently with others. Teasing him in front of others, he develops inferiority complex for himself.

If parents take refuge in lying before the child, he imitates them and develops a habit of lying. If parents do all the works which the child should do, either because of lack of confidence on his abilities or out of too much of love, the child remains dependent on others throughout his life.

The children whose parents remain too busy and find no time for them, becomes bad-tempered. If a child needs something but denied by the parents, he is induced to steal. If parents give respect to their elders, the child too learns giving respect. When the child is dealt with rudeness, he in turn becomes impolite.

Be a child while dealing with your child and you create an intimate bond with him. Tell instructive stories to him and his creativity will increase. But raise him in distressful atmosphere in the house and he will develop a tendency of quarrelling. Use insulting words and you will obstruct his growth. Give him a lavish hand in using money and he will disregard the value of money, becoming recklessly wasteful.

When the children are treated with comforting behaviour, they learn keeping calm. When the children are reared in a loving atmosphere, they grow into affectionate human beings. When they are treated with unjust behaviour, they become bad tempered.

When parents keep moderation in their lifestyle, the child in turn learns discipline.When family members keep respect for each other, the child too learns becoming humble. When the child is taken to temple regularly, he develops a religious spirit in himself. When the child sees orderliness in the life of his parents, he too develops liking for orderliness. When the child is reared in the closeness of nature – mountains, rivers, trees – he develops a comprehensive vision and become fond of natural life. When the child sees his parents feeding animals, he grows compassion for animals from his early age. If parents show hospitality towards the guests, the child also becomes courteous.

It is we, the parents, who need to change our attitudes to strengthen our relationship with the children, even in the midst of difficult situations. We need to learn that we can use tolerance as cement, good feelings as sand, and sensibility as water to strengthen the foundation of our relationship with the child.