Creating Happy Adults

As parents, we all want kids to bloom in to happy adults and to there are many ingredients that are required for that. Education, health, environment, family, neighborhood and other variables blended together result in the final outcome. Research shows that of all these, parents have a lasting and prominent affect on children. Parenting style adopted by parents matter a lot.

But parenting style depends on different parents, doesn’t it?

It does but majorly there are four kinds of parenting style, namely:

Authoritative Parents
Authoritative parents monitor their children and intervene when necessary and let them do things on their own when there is no need to interfere. They say things they mean and do not mind conflict when enforcing the boundaries they have set. Authoritative parents are loving parents but not over- protective or over-indulgent, involved but they are not controlling, they are clear about limits and permissive within those limits but not neglectful. These parents are do not force expectations on their children nor do they discourage them for their different individual outlook.

Authoritarian Parents
Authoritarian parents are very controlling, they intervene frequently, giving commands, criticisms and occasional praise, but do this in an inconsistent way. They expect kids to obey their instructions and may use emotional tactics to get their way, such as making their children feel guilty, ashamed or unloved. These kinds of parents interfere even when there is no need for it. At the extreme, some highly authoritarian parents resort to physical or emotional abuse in their attempts to control their children, which can cause lasting psychological damage.

Indulgent Parents
This kind of parenting style is responsive but they do not demand anything from kids, they are warm and loving but do not have a set limit, they are lax. They only respond to children’s wishes and demands even if they are unreasonable. They try to be kind and they shy away from any kind of confrontation.

Uninvolved Parents
Uninvolved parents are unresponsive, undemanding, and very permissive and set few or no limits, largely because they don’t care much. They are neither warm nor firm and they do not monitor their children like authoritative parents. Instead, they are laid-back and unresponsive to an extent that can sometimes seem reckless.

Understanding the four contrast ways of parenting, one needs to figure out which one is that one good parenting style. Large amount of psychological research shows that the Authoritative parenting style is the best for a child. On an average, kids of Authoritative parents tend to be happy humans. The key here is that the authoritative parents provides good social and emotional skills, freedom from excessive anxiety, a sense of control, resilience, self-esteem, optimism and playfulness. This parenting style creates fertile conditions for children to become, and remain, happy people. And probably the basic fundamental aspect of authoritative parenting is unconditional love and acceptance.

And this is all we need.. Isn’t it?

If nothing else, parents who want their children to be happy should aim to love their children for who they are, not who they would like them to be, nor for what they can achieve. As parents, we must be the facilitators first. We need to give resources so kids can grow and well kids are here to surprise us so let them do their thing.